Week 17, 2025: re:build

G'day folks.

This week was pretty rough — I had a breakdown... of sorts.

It happened after months of internalising my thoughts and not sharing/talking about them to anyone. I haven’t really had anyone to share them with. Except my trusty journal, I suppose. But that only works to a certain extent.

I wouldn't wish this state upon anyone.

I believe I'm resilient and that I will get through this. It felt good to open up and finally talk about it.

In the past, I would pour all of that energy into making art or creating something — it was cathartic. It felt like a release. Plus, I had folks that I trusted and could talk to at any time.

Unfortunately, in the present, I don't think I have either — I haven't really had the time to make time to do other stuff.

I've mostly taken time to focus inward and get back to building back my confidence. I like to think the past me would take a look at current me, shake his head in disapproval, and ask the following:

What have you become, my sweetest friend?
What are you afraid of? What is all this Fear about?
Why are you so LOST lately?

Anyway, this too shall pass.

I've also gone back to working out intensely over the last three days. My body is sore, but it's a good kind of sore — a reminder that I'm moving forward. In fact, I am writing this after a morning workout sesh. Woot!

Along with focusing on my body, I'm also trying to heal mentally. It's not an overnight process. I'm reminding myself that I am enough — and returning to the mindset that I can't control everything beyond me.

I'm trying to rebuild trust and confidence in myself, little by little, and be kinder to the person I see in the mirror.

Until next time.