ask

Hi _____,

Since childhood, you believed strength meant doing everything on your own. You learned that early on — because you had to.

When something hard came your way, you took it on alone. If you didn’t know how to do something, you taught yourself and figured it out. And when you were overwhelmed, I noticed that you often kept going — quiet, tightly wound, and silent — hoping no one would notice the weight you carried.

But over time, that self-reliance can become a prison. Independence is valuable, yes — but without connection, it can turn into loneliness. Eventually, your burdens grow too heavy to carry on your own.

I know asking for help can feel like you’re a burden, like you’re imposing. But sometimes, asking is the first step toward connection.

I know you carry a fear of rejection when reaching out. I’ve seen it — that hesitation, that quiet wondering if you’re too much. But at some point, you have to take the risk.

Even now, asking for help can still feel unfamiliar. I know what it’s like to lie awake, second-guessing, turning everything over in your mind. But with time — and a little courage — you can learn to reach out.

Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

“Can I ask your advice?”
“I feel lost — will you help me find my way?”
“I’m struggling — are you available to talk?”

Asking is not giving up; it is admitting that we all need each other. It’s a reminder that none of us were meant to do this alone. We are all experiencing and living life for the first time, after all.

Let us both remember to reach out, lean on friends, and let kindness in. We can be strong together.

And if you ever forget — come back to this. Read it slowly. Let it remind you:

You are allowed to ask.
You are allowed to be held.